Things You Do On Twitter That I Hate

Oh yes, I really like twitter. I love looking at my stream updating with new tweets, I love clicking on links, I love tweeting about things most people don’t care about, I love sharing photos and news. Sometimes I catch myself oversharing or tweeting something extremely lame like “I’m having lunch at Joey’s Diner”, and then I hate myself for that, but overall I would call my relationship with twitter “a sizzling hot love affair with a time waster”.

Enough though with the love. There are things on twitter that annoy the crap out of me. Now, if you know me, you know that this is not very difficult to achieve; nonetheless, allow me to share the things I don’t like on twitter:

– Twitter is full of social media experts: sorry to break it you, but having a twitter account, a facebook account and 300 followers doesn’t really make you a social media expert. I mean that’s like 80% of twitterverse.

– Unbalanced numbers of following/followers: Sometimes I’m like “wow, cool, this person has a 1,000 followers”, and then I see they follow 4,000 people. Well, not so cool anymore.

– Indiscriminate use of hashtags: #some #tweets #read #like #this. I like hashtags and all, but I like keeping it in check too. Oh, and btw, I really like making up hashtags like #ihatemylife #omgyouareasdumbasyoulook etc etc

– Twitter stream that looks like your rss reader. Yeah, are you going to actually write anything about something?

– Unlimited use of haha’s and text emoticons: Once I stumbled upon somebody’s profile and every single tweet included one of the following: haha (in various multipliers of the “ha” syllable), heh heh, heee heee,  “:)”  “;)” or “:P” All I have to say is :-! zzz zzz

– A tweet every five minutes: Unless you are a news organization, you don’t really have to do that. Somebody once said “What do you call these people who apparently do nothing but tweet non-stop?” “Unemployed or underemployed.” Ouch.

– Plagiarizing: I know, it might sound shocking to talk about plagiarism on the interwebs, but there are people who instead of re-tweeting something interesting they read and add a comment, they just post a brand new tweet of theirs that virtually steals the original one. That’s very obvious when it’s very local news, and we all in the community know who broke the news.

– Tweets that consist only of one link: You’ve probably seen those, it’s only a link, without any other text to explain what the link is all about. The Boston Herald does this all the time. Sorry, but I’m not clicking on it.

– Oversharing / Too personal: some things should not be broadcast. Period. And, sometimes you should DM someone, instead of telling the twitterverse.

– Botched English language: Sometimes you see tweets that have very creative abbreviations so you have to read them twice to figure out what they mean. Srsly. Anyway, on twitter we botch the English language routinely, yet sometimes we have slightly higher expectations from certain users, like newspapers, authors, literary magazines, bookstores. I really can’t get over the fact how bad Harvard Bookstore’s tweets are; looks like they don’t really like using capital letters, and sometimes they don’t make any sense at all. ‘Cause, you know, nothing says esteemed bookstore better than this one “we have a gorgeous, luscious, like 3 foot book of the best of flare magazine, used & new. amazing design, fold out pages, postcards, style!” Say wha????

– The Fail Whale: ‘Nuff said.

Also, for the time being I’m being skeptical about foursquare, but who knows, I might embrace it in the future. As I recall, a year ago I was a twitter skeptic too…

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26 thoughts on “Things You Do On Twitter That I Hate

  1. I would add under “unbalanced numbers” the reverse as well. When I see someone who follows 18 people and has 18,000 followers, I don’t think “Ooh, how popular!” I think “Wow, what a snob.” It’s just ego-stroking, unless you’re some A-list celebrity. Well – maybe then, too.

    • Right! This usually happens with celebrities. It’s like they’re saying there’s nobody worth following; like Errol Morris (@errolmorris), who’s following 0 and has 6,475 followers, and my favorite Annie Leibovitz (@annieleibovitz): 0 (yes, that’s zero) tweets, 0 following and 11,654 followers…

    • I found your post funny and right on! I think the person who wrote the kinda nasty comment didn’t get your point: it’s not that you expect people to change the way they tweet; you just offered a personal opinion on what you don’t like on twitter…

  2. I don’t like perverts and porn. I was like “Is twitter a place for whores and perverts to hangout?” when a mate sent me some porn actress account who tweets her naked pictures.

    I can’t stand them. It’s a twitter not a porn site.

  3. I like that U listed things here, which ‘YOU’ don’t like.
    else I believe that success of twitter is only because it does not have any rule. twitter’s Evolution is all natural and selected by users. So its completely insane of trying to dictate any rule.

    • Obviously it is JUST my opinion. My post is about the things “I Hate” on twitter, not what people should or shouldn’t be doing on twitter. And I’m certainly not dictating any rules; A social media expert, I am not!

  4. I must say I don’t get the whole Twitter thing. I get blogging, but not micro-blogging. Maybe I should give it a go and see what all the fuss is about before I diss it, but I just know it won’t be for me. But nice post, though. Cheers.

  5. I agree with everything in this article, but would like to add that those who tweet everything in CAPS is extremely annoying to me. Followed by those twitter “coples” who argue openly on twitter, then try to get their followers to take sides…say what? Political comments from a person who is a graduate of the 5th grade, maybe. Men who brag about their aperm count or their tent pitching capabilities. Those who proselytize, and those who will tell you shamelessly that you forgot to mention them on #FF. Need I continue?

    • Absolutely! I’m sure there are people who wouldn’t like my tweeting-behavior, but it’s all a matter of personal preference. In the end, it all comes down to “I don’t like you, I don’t follow you”!

  6. I have yet to get a Twitter and by the looks of it maybe I shouldn’t? It seems like I would be equally annoyed but much less in love with it as you. I really enjoyed reading this though (despite the fact I never went on Twitter) Thanks for making me smile!

  7. What a delight this post was to read. I agree on every single count, and particularly the “every 5 minutes” post. I can appreciate having to share multiple posts if you a legit reason for doing so, but nothing chaps my hide more than logging on for the first time in a day, or even just after returning from lunch, and my twitter home page is nothing but a long column of one person’s avatar/photo/logo/whatever. If I see a stream of that down my page, I have to unfollow you. I just do. I don’t want to read Vowel Movements.

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