This Is A Rant

A rant about you dear co-workers. A rant because I am sick and tired of your endless talk about your suburban house and the work it requires, and your kids and what they did and how cute it was, and your boring stories about your neighbor and about the awesome dinner you had at that chain restaurant at the strip mall, and your daughter’s much hated boyfriend, and your boyfriend and your cousin and your friend, and your sports, and what you had for lunch and dinner, and what you watched on TV, and your funny ha ha stories. Enough. Basta. Leave me alone.

And yes, I dislike you too, you the one who asks how my weekend was, so that you in return can tell me how your weekend was. Uhh, well, I did not ask you and I do not care. Stop boring me to death. I do not want to know. And then when I say I did something, you have to come up with something much better, as in “oh, yeah? yeah, I did this super cool thing twenty years ago”. Listen up: just because you were cool twenty, ten years ago, does not mean that you are still cool and interesting. If you want to be relevant, BE relevant, but your desire to be so is not enough.

And what I hate the most, is when you present as your own something funny or new I told you ten minutes ago. You know I can hear you repeating it to other people. Yes, I am flattered that you adopt my words and my ideas, but your shameless stealing and presenting it as your own is obnoxious. So C U T  I T  O U T.

Yeah, good talking to you, too.

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5 thoughts on “This Is A Rant

  1. Well, that’s a minor masterpiece clearly influenced by some Torontonian’s ravings found on Craig’s list… (or was it a Torontonite? I prefer the stentorian feel of Torontonian anyway)

  2. My rant is my reality, and yes it is in a typical rant format, but I don’t think I know of the Torontian you’re talking about…

  3. I check out the best of craigslist and there are some very funny rants in there, but, dude, I don’t remember the city or the title or the contents of every piece I read!

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