Open Letter to Carrie Wasserman

Carrie Wasserman,

I don’t know you, but I hate you. I hate you because you used to have the phone number I have now. I hate you because you don’t pay your bills. So I get annoying calls from debt collectors who want to talk to you Carrie Wasserman. But you are not here. I tell them they have the wrong number and in typical moronic fashion they ask if I have your new phone number. Oh, I so hate you these moments Carrie Wasserman, when I have to deal with stupid crap like this or when I just dozed off for my precious nap and the phone rings and an unfamiliar voice wants to talk to you Carrie Wasserman. You get more phonecalls than I do, and I hate you for that too.

I don’t even know how you spell your name Carrie Wasserman, but if you are still around, I plead with you, PAY OFF YOUR GODDAMN DEBT. Of course if you have fled the country to avoid paying your debt, and right now you’re sunbathing on a tropical white sandy beach drinking your fancy multi colored cocktails, I tip my hat to you Carrie Wasserman and (shhhhh) I think I am a little jealous of you.

With absolute hate,

Acidgalore

P.S. If you want to contact me you can always call my home phone. Yes, Carrie Wasserman, you know it.

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